Anonymous said: Hi, I've got some thoughts for the earlier anon. Keep in mind there are different kinds of attraction, so try sorting out which kinds you're feeling. Do you find people attractive in a way that is solely aesthetic (the same way you'd appreciate the beauty of a tree) or are any of them sexually attractive as well? Sensual attraction (basically, cuddlewants) is also something that can be separate from sexual attraction. Desire to touch can be either sensual or sexual.
Anonymous said: I'm asexual and I don't see the point of it. I'm never gonna have someone to love because I don't work like that. I'll never have anyone, so I'm gonna be alone forever. I've tried so hard to see the point of this kind of life, but I can't see one. I don't want a relationship. I don't want to ever have sex, but I hate having nothing. I hate feeling nothing.
You kind of sound depressed to me… Which is something maybe you should check out and see about with a doctor or counselor?
Anonymous said: Hi! Am I even an Ace? Although I am attracted to both men and women (cannot say if I am attracted to trans or others as I never met any/or did not know they were) I do not want partner/relationship. I like how people look like, I think I would enjoy touching others (worship) but I definitely know I do not like it when somebody touches me sexually. I have this feeling that I am weird even by asexual standards.. sigh
Don’t worry about being weird. Asexuals aren’t weird, transsexuals aren’t weird- nobody is weird for their preferences and their identities. So don’t even worry about it! You don’t even have to find out all this stuff now. But if you do, we can talk it out if you’d like.
Asexuality is largely defined by not being sexually attracted to either gender, (or the attraction you do feel is so very little you don’t think you’d ever act out on it) but it doesn’t actually mean anything on the sense of romantic attraction.
So if you don’t want a partner/relationship, it’s not the end of the world. It’s not a specific Asexual thing, since, you can be very sexual but be aromantic… it’s a thing that happens. And that’s alright, too.
It sounds like, to me, that if you want to be sexual to somebody, and worship their body, you’re sexual, even if perhaps you don’t want to be touched yourself. But, I couldn’t say for sure. I don’t actually know the answer to that. Though, I can say that it’s only a problem if you think it’s a problem. Labels really aren’t all that important as defining who you are. You define who you are.
If you’re a person who is aromantic, but wants to be sexual to people, but not with people, then that’s who you are. Maybe there’s a term for it, and maybe there isn’t. I’m sorry I can’t be of more help, but hopefully, maybe somebody reading this can send advice? And if you want to keep talking about it in private, you can come off anon and we can be discrete.
2. Are you out? To whom?
I’m pretty much out to everybody. The only people I don’t really come out to are peers that I’m forced to see everyday and I can’t just get away from them if I have to.
(I’m a little busy, so while I get that stuff sorted out, i thought I’d do this to stay at least semi active!)
1. What is your romantic/sexual orientation?
Anonymous said: I've been really confused for a while now because I'm not interested in searching for a partner/boyfriend while all of my other friends are (I'm 15). Does that mean I'm Asexual/Aromatic? I know that I'd most likely want be with someone when I grow up, but every time that I'm approached, it just feels weird. I don't know how to explain it, but maybe if you'd explain Asexual romance I could understand better what I'm really feeling.
I can certainly try my best!
Primarily, you have like, lust, and you also get crushes. For people who are asexual (but not aromantic) will still get those crushes.
We’re still very intimate with our partners, but in a different way. It all depends on the asexual person and their preferences. Some aces like kissing, while others don’t even want to cuddle, but they still want to be very emotionally close to their partner.
So they’re intimate in different ways. Stuff like sharing each other personality wise completely, secrets, history, insecurities, hopes, fears, ambitions…. Which a lot of sexual relationships can be like that, too, with aces however, it’s just without the sex, and focusing a lot more on how to be close to their partner without having to have sex! It’s kind of easy for me, but not for everyone, I guess. Takes some time, I suppose.
You could be asexual, though. Even aromantic! But the spectrum of relationships aren’t just, friend and lover. You can be platonically very close to somebody, not in a romantic way, but “more than a friend” so to speak, where you just really want to intellectually bond on everything.
I’d take some time, not stress out too much over it, and, hey, if you think that the label ‘Asexual’ works for you, then great! If you find out one day that’s not the case, then no shame, that’s okay, too! It’s a lot of self exploration, I know, but, you’ll get there, I’m sure. Also, I don’t know about anyone else, but my romantic attractions have always been few and far between. Kind of like on the gray-scale of romance. So that could also be the case for you.
Best of luck, anon!!
Edit: I’m really longwinded, I’m sorry!
This is a bit heavy for the lighthearted comic stuff I’m making, so I’m going to put all of this under the cut, but, just be warned,
Trigger warnings include rape threats and peer pressure, and I don’t want to trigger anyone!!! So please heed this if you have to?